Go Karting with Taylor Lautner. No big deal.

"If we go Go Karting with Taylor, you can't get  excited  because he has a girlfriend," said one of my co-workers who is Taylor Lautner’s friend. I actually got offended when he told me this...just because Taylor is famous why would anyone automatically assume I would throw myself at him?! Sure, he has big muscles, a perfectly shaped jaw line (yes, guy's jaw lines do turn me on) and every girl wants to get with him, but that doesn't mean I would! Let me back this story up a bit and tell you how this whole Go Karting thing with Taylor Lautner started.

One day, I was peacefully sitting at my desk when all of a sudden I got attacked....by nerfs. This wasn't your back in the day nerf gun where it shoots one and then takes a half an hour to re-load. This was a freaking machine nerf gun. After 20 nerfs to the head, I asked my lovely co-work where in the heck did he get a state of the art nerf gun? His response, "Taylor Lautner gave it to me.” Now, most girls at this point would melt and beg for him to tell them everything about Taylor. Not me. I'm smart, so I used reverse physiology and pretended like I wasn’t impressed.

"Oh cool. So what are you like his friend or something," I asked in my calmest voice.

"Yeah, my old agency used to represent him. Some studio was trying to get him to sign onto a movie so they sent him a bunch of nerf guns. He ended up giving them all to me."

"Cool," I said and I sat back down in my cubical and picked up all the nerfs that Taylor Lautner once touched. I'm better than this, I thought to myself. I can't freak out, this is Hollywood. Everyone knows everyone and I can't be the one overly giddy excited girl. So I refrained myself from smelling the Taylor nerfs.

The next days I walked past my co-workers and he held up his phone. "See that, Taylor is texting me. You jealous?"

"You're lying, I don't think your friends with Taylor." Now why did I say this? I didn't actually think he was lying to me but I wanted to secretly know more.

"No, come here look at his texts.” Haha my plan worked. “He wants to go Go Karting soon. Going anywhere with Taylor is the best cause he pays for everything. You should come!"

I stayed calm. I never admitted this to anyone but sometimes I watch all the Twilight movies in the dark and hit pause whenever Taylor takes his shirt off. Once, I walked into my friend’s room and she had a topless picture of Taylor and I asked her where she bought it. Maybe I did accidently sniff Taylor's nerfs but no one knows any of this...why? Because I knew this day would come where I would get a chance to hang out with Taylor and if anyone knew that I am madly in love with him then I would never get the chance to be his friend with benefits.

So back to the beginning of the story when my co-worker said he has a girlfriend so I wouldn’t be able to hit on him if we all hung out.

"Who said I like him? I don't think he's that attractive. I mean, yeah, he looks like a nice person but trust me I would never be ‘that girl’ if we all hung out."

"Ok, just making sure. I'll see when he is available to go Go Karting," said my co-worker as I walked back to my cubical.

I sat down, not believing that at that moment plans were being set up for me to hang out with Taylor Lautner and his friends. I officially made it in Hollywood. Stay calm, don't panic, I can't let anyone know that I am an obsessed fan. I opened my desk drawer and took out a nerf- Taylor's nerf. I looked at it, held it up to my nose, and sniffed in its luscious foamy Taylor Lautner’s scent. It smelled magical and I knew that if I actually did get to hang out with Taylor in person that he would smell even more magical.