We all make horrible mistakes, especially when you're living Hollywood. My first mistake that I made in Hollywood, was going to Universal Studios Halloween Horror Night. All I wanted to do was to get into the Halloween mood. But instead, I walked into this...
This wasn't a Halloween experience at all. That is unless Halloween is about all the ways you could get murdered. By the end of the night, I decided being chainsawed to death would be the worse way to go...and if I never hear another chainsaw again then I will be the happiest person alive.
In this picture, I'm actually this scared. In the background is one of the park's scariest mazes: Hostel. When the park employee said it was a maze, I honestly thought there were going to be hay bundles and scare crows were going to pop out. But because Universal Studios has a sick idea of what Halloween is suppose to be, I instead walked into a mock mental hospital. You know when you are watching a scary movie and you yell at the stupid blond girl, "don't go in there" but the dumbass always ends up going in? Yup, I was that stupid blond girl and I really wish I didn't go in. I have never seen so many dark corners in one place and in every dark corner a scary looking thing always managed to pop out and make me poop a little. What was really cool and freaky about these mazes is that they smelled like rotting dead bodies. It actually felt as if I was in a mental hospital with dead bodies and zombies all around me because the smell was so strong. So if you every decide to go into one of these mazes, make sure you not only close your eyes but also hold your nose.
After going through two of these 'sh*t your paints' mazes I needed a break, so I hit up my favorite ride at the park, The Mummy Returns.
If it's one thing I learned that night, it's that fake mummies are a lot better then the real ones that were walking around the park. Don't we make a nice couple?
Next up, the Terror Tram. I was excited to go on the tram that takes you through the back lots of all the sets because it would mean that I would get to sit down for an hour. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. The tram drives you only five minutes and then kicks you off and makes you walk around the dark movie lots. Before I thought Whoville was such a magical place, but now just the thought of it makes me pee.
Chainsaws and Whoville do not mix. I eventually gave up of screaming like a little school girl every time and tried talking to one of the scary looking actors. These actors could be Hollywood's future stars (everyone has to start somewhere) so I tried to become friends with them. One actually talked to me! Look! Even though you can't really see the actor (although believe he looked horrifying) listen, because he gave a shout out to my blog!
Doesn't this person sound sexy? So, one of my biggest mistakes in going to this thing was that I only went with one other person. If you ever go to this event, you better go with a huge group. Why? Because then it looks like you are popular and have a lot of friends. But the real reason is because when you are walking around in the dark and you know something is going to pop out at you, you want to make sure you have people on both sides of you. What me and my friend ended up doing was sprinting up to the people in front of us so then all the scary ass things would pop out at them first. So yes, I used people. I would find a big group, talk with them for a bit, became friends, faked laughed with them, interviewed them, and then I would make them walk a few steps a head of me.
I'm sure I'm not the first journalist who used people for an interview. I do have to admit, as scary as it was walking around the back lots of Universal in the pitch black dark, it was pretty cool that I got to see all the sets up close. They changed all the Desperate Housewives houses into these creepy looking houses.
Cool, right? What would have been even better is if they has the cast of The Desperate Housewives waving to us from the porch...those ladies are pretty scary as is, if you ask me.
After the Terror Tram, we went back and hit up a couple other rides and then went into one more maze.
"The Thing" maze was not worth the 100 minute wait time...nothing that will scare your ass off is worth a 100 minute wait time. Towards the end of this whole adventure I got use to scary looking creators popping out with chainsaws. I even became friends with them!
It's probably not a good thing that I no long react to scary people with chainsaws. What happens when one day a clown actually does attack me with a chainsaw? After this whole experience, I'm not going to be afraid of them and run away which means they will end up brutally murdering me. Oh, well.
Overall, Universal Studios Halloween Horror Night was well worth the $60 ticket. Even though my dry cleaning bill for my soiled paints I wore that night will probably cost more, I still recommend that one shouldn't think twice about spending the money to go. After all this, I walked away a stronger person. I over came some of my greatest fears that night (my fear of chainsaws, people in Scream masks, clowns, real looking insects, Whoville, loud noises, the smell of rotting bodies, roller coasters, dead babies, and blood). And to me, over coming one's fears is priceless....especially if you have one of these right after, then it makes all the pain go away.
(A drink with a lot of alcohol)
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